2 Man Canoe.

HiHi everyone! Happy Friday for those of you don't have a Friday EVERYDAY. I'm not bragging. Really, I'm not. :)

There has been an interesting turn of events as of last night. I guess it didn't really change anything. Just the ingredients for a sleepless night. So in actuality its not really a "turn" of anything, we (Jacey and I) are still moving forward in our 2 man canoe, and there still isn't any room for a third. Damn, that sounded so much cooler in my head.

Time: 10:30
Scene: Me on couch (Surpised? Me either.) Phone beeps.

 I just close my eyes and start to laugh at the fact that my heart started beating faster, then I felt the need to regurgitate. This is a freaking joke. 2 months! ITS BEEN OVER 2 MONTHS!!! 

He's just proving to me, and everyone else exactly what we thought from the beginning.

To be honest...i just feel strange and out of place being in this position. Because I have morals for myself. Always have. He just met me at a time when I had forgotten what they were.

I don't know what I want from him. I really don't. I think I want someone to tell me what's the best possible scenario for Jace, what's going to bring him the most happiness and least stress and I'll do whatever it takes to make that happen. My feelings are just hurt.I really have no fucking idea how to handle this. None.

I think it would be different if he was really showing me that he wanted this. Ok homeboy, you texting (not even calling) asking how I'm doing isn't showing me anything but you trying to look like you're trying. I'm not an idiot.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

:(

I try to play it off like it's nothing, like theres nothing to decide. Jace's dad is an idiot and blah blah blah.Truth is I think about it every single day. Hopefully things work themselves out. They always have before...
AS YOU ALL KNOW:

It was carpet day today. A really big day in my book... I cannot stress enough how hideous that carpet was. I should have got a picture.. Let's see if I can find one that can do it justice. BINGO!  No...I'm not exaggerating. That's a replica. Let's just say...you won't be missed. So yes. Carpet was being laid so I took an adventure.

I got to see my niece and nephew this morning which always makes me feel a little better. My nephews smiling face through the window just took a huge weight off my shoulders. I took little things like family for granted before, never again. 

Then I got to meet up with an old jolly good friend of mine who over the years introduced me to many fun times... and I'm sure will continue to do so as time goes on. Jennifer, Dahling. We've watched each other grow into much different people than I think either of us expected. And love remains. Just a very caring, beautiful soul. I always treasure the times we get to spend :) I know you're reading this and... I love you<3

So after eating way to many wings, I came home and napped for 3 hours hoping that would make my tumtum feel better. FAIL. I guess Buffalo Wild Wings and I don't get along anymore. Sad day.